Ambivalence. Hesitation. Fear.
I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to take the risk. It’s not worth it. It’s just going to happen this way anyway. Why bother. It’s a silly program. I can’t believe what they’re asking us to do. I don’t believe it. It’s not going to work out that way. It’s going to hurt. I don’t want to feel that way again.
There are plenty of reasons to not do something. Especially something we are not completely sure will prove successful, especially things about which we feel anxious. It’s easy to believe we have all the answers. That we know what will happen, how it will happen, and how miserable we might be. How do we decide to do it when we are feeling so ambivalent, so hesitant, so afraid?
1. Acknowledge the truth–we don’t really know the outcome.
It’s nice to have all the answers. We feel safe. Security in knowing we are right. Sometimes that works out. Most times it does not. How often do we allow ourselves to be surprised by life–especially when we limit our opportunity to be surprised by forecasting the ominous and awfulized future? The simple and practical truth: We do not know the outcome, nor can we guarantee it. Live in that truth. Let us question the statements we tell ourselves about what we know is going to happen. And go and do it anyway.
2. It’s not about proving our worth, it’s about living our worth.
What happens if we go and it doesn’t work out. Or worse, we do it and get hurt? It’s about showing up. We are always worth showing up for in our own lives. Who else is going to do it for us? Sometimes we tell ourselves, without the guarantee, there is no safety, there is nothing to gain, that maybe we aren’t worth it. It’s not about worth. It’s never been about worth. One of the biggest transformations I always see in people’s lives is when they stop trying to prove their worth, and instead they simply live their worth. Live your worth by giving yourself the opportunity to embrace your life and all that is offered to you.
Meaning? Meaning. That’s it. When we don’t try it, we don’t really ever know we wouldn’t have liked it, that life wouldn’t have been better that way. It’s a life of missed opportunities when we don’t do it. How else will we know? When we experience the success, or the failure, of doing something we were hesitant to do, we gain meaning. We know. Not just tell ourselves, or think, or believe. We know. And there is so much more power and meaning in knowing. We have clarity, about who we are and what we want. We can give meaning to an experience, not just fear.